CELAFAIN VAIN? ANYONE??
Posted by: JIMMY AGATES ()
Date: June 09, 2013 10:17PM

Anyone out there know of this glam band from the late 90's apparently out of Melbourne Australia??

Here's a bio I found....sounds quite interesting....


"Celafain Vain were formed in 1997 by guitarist Jay Foxxx and drummer Niki Vain (both formerly of Jizzwizz) after extensive searching and auditioning for suitable members who shared their glamorous aspirations and silver tainted visions they found bassist extraodinaire Cherri Bang (ex-Lusty Ladz) working in a local adult book store. With all the musical elements now in place it was August 1998 when they literally stumbled across local heart-throb vocalist Kelli Koltt (ex-Vanity Mirrorz) in a back alley in the small redneck town of Ballarat. Koltt had slipped out of the local stripclub Jo-Jo’s to reapply his foundation and lipstick when the 3 other members met up with him, stunned by his beauty they struck up a conversation and they soon realized he had what it took to join their mascarra clad ensemble of mayhem.

Basing themselves initially in Ballarat they rehearsed for many months honing their tunes which paid unbridled homage to Poison, Kiss, T-Rex, Motley Crue, Max Factor and Revlon. Unfortunately in the redneck town of Ballarat the local street gangs had a hard time dealing with four beautiful people walking their city by night and pillaging their women like some wanton pirates of love. These beloved prima donnas of glitter were made of stronger stuff though and many back street brawls took place against these misguided redneck hoodlums, luckily in all the ensuing violence none of the boys distinctively androgynous features were scarred, however after some consideration and advice from the authorities it was decided the boys must leave their town and were banished to the big city lights of Melbourne.

The band were still in their formative stages and as a result had to rely on the generosity of the local ladies of the night and their welfare payments to make ends meet - their money spent on make up, prophylactics, drugs, alcohol and rehearsal rooms in that order! It was after a particularly seedy night that the boys met their soon to be manager and local porn movie producer Glenn Odin in the local free clinic. It was Odin who put them in touch with Johnny James of Derelete Records a subsidiary of major label Shock. James was so impressed with these guys that he offered them a 3 album record deal without hearing a single note. The band immediately went into the studio to lay down 4 demo tracks just to get a feel for the recording technique. Copies of this demo made it into the hands of both EMI and Sony’s A&R honchos who spent countless weeks wining and dining the band in an effort to lure them from the smaller Derelete record label.
Staying true to themselves and their fans the band resisted the lure of excessive 6 figure deals and showed their loyalty and faith to both Odin and James by finally signing with Derelete for an undisclosed amount rumored to be in excess of $300,000.

Early 1999 saw a full album of original material recorded in a hectic eight week period with local engineer Adam Calaitzis manning the boards with all 4 of the glamorous ones overseeing the production. It was towards the end of these sessions that things took a turn for the worse during a rather long session of boozing and illicit substance abuse vocalist Kelli Koltt passed out and was found weeks later by police ensconced in the underground cult organization Life Mechanics. How Koltt became embroiled in their evil ways is still a mystery yet somehow he was lured back to the studios to finish his vocal parts only to once again disappear some days later along with the master tapes of the album never to be seen again. To this day he remains on the missing persons list and coincidentally the Life Mechanics organization moved their dealings overseas soon after. Cherri Bang amazingly recovered the master tapes after an advertisement was placed in local industry publication Beat magazine offering a substantial reward. What became of Koltt is still a mystery but the music of Celafain Vain lives on in the hearts and ears of fans and the remaining members who after Koltt’s disappearance disbanded and have refused to be involved in any other musical ventures since. Cherri Bang is now working as CEO of Derelete Productions and moonlighting as a local catwalk model while Niki Vain is travelling the globe as a beauty consultant to the stars. Jay Foxxx meanwhile has unfortunately fared less successfully and is now homeless and destitute and can be occasionally spotted busking on the city streets of Melbourne a former shadow of his once glamorous self only recognizable by the fact that he still wears full make up even when performing in front of 2 or 3 people in a shopping mall for small change.

So a once bright future turned into a chequered past but the music remains as a timeless reminder of what could have been for our four heroes of the glam underworld.

- Written by Johnny C Laytlee
Author of the forthcoming biography “Daze of Lipstick, Glam and Crack Whorez”"



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 06/09/2013 10:20PM by JIMMY AGATES.

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SubjectViewsWritten ByPosted
CELAFAIN VAIN? ANYONE??377 JIMMY AGATES 06/09/2013 10:17PM
Re: CELAFAIN VAIN? ANYONE?? 147 Tony Bainbridge 06/10/2013 04:03AM
Re: CELAFAIN VAIN? ANYONE?? 216 JIMMY AGATES 06/10/2013 05:49PM
Re: CELAFAIN VAIN? ANYONE?? 132 AdrenalineJunkie32 06/10/2013 09:25PM
Re: CELAFAIN VAIN? ANYONE?? 119 doggy 06/11/2013 09:44AM
Re: CELAFAIN VAIN? ANYONE?? 121 rocker x 06/11/2013 03:17PM
Re: CELAFAIN VAIN? ANYONE?? 119 JIMMY AGATES 06/11/2013 09:00PM


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