Whilst flicking through a friends metal magazine collection I noticed a few clichés crop up time and time again over years and years. Maybe there's a secret handbook for rock journalists somewhere with the following rules:

Aerosmith - when writing about Aerosmith you must always use the quote from Steve Tyler that "we must have snorted half of Peru".

ZZ Top - you must always point out that Frank Beard is the only one without a beard because it's ironic and thus amusing.

Motley Crue - always remind people that Nikki Sixx once died and that Vince Neil did time in jail to reinforce the 'fact' they are the most debauched individuals ever.

Dokken - always mention that Don Dokken and George Lynch hate each other with a passion.

Any more?