I also hear Tony's door fixing ability is second to none.

What I want to know is, why does Lawrence (the big gayboy) come on here spouting ceek, when Carol Smilie is ossing round for a swift one???

Get her done you tunnel tester.

And to carry on with the story's of Tony, I hear that he has been voted the most ludicrous shirt wearer two years on the trot and was second for five years in a row only being pipped by Daniel "dobby" Dobzi, he being a student of the all time master Phillipie Ash of the croft. Phillipie once stunned an audience of several with a chiffon off the shoulder number in '79, but lost his crown the next year to the Irish king Kieran O' McDargan who had the shirt/waistcoat combination in a devilish blue silky thing!!

Is it not true that the big T once held an audience with Gavo Mulletwhenyung, during which he astiounded Gavo with tales of far away places such as Leigh and Tyldesley, leaving Gavo panting for breath (similar to a short run to the fridge for more food).

Is this all not true..

Well no not really!!

Have at you.