I stole a Mars Bar today!
Posted by: Mister Pomp ()
Date: January 18, 2001 06:08PM

I don't feel guilty about it. My various justifications are:

I have previously bought chocolate bars and found I only liked the filling, therefore feel persecuted if anyone asks me to buy a whole bar.

I am not selling the Mars Bar, only trading it with a friend who stole a Snickers Bar.

I have it on good authority that no royalties are payable to the cows from these Mars Bars and am therefore withholding all payment.

I believe that I am helping the Mars corporation because by my stealing Mars Bars more people will know about them and will buy their range of associated leisure wear and/or go on factory tours.

Because Mars have never taken their product on a roadshow, I feel aggrieved.

I understand that some cacao producers support this theft, therefore I have taken it on myself to assume that all producers and distributors of confectionary feel the same way.

I am standing up against "the man" because I don't like chocolate companies' business methods in dealing with cows.

I think that Mars Bars these days aren't very good and are badly produced therefore I am doing Mars a favour by sending them a message that their product is no good. In particular, I don't think Mars Bars are up to the standard of the debut Snickers Bar and the second production run of Milky Ways.

I don't have enough money to buy all the Mars Bars I want.

I once worked in a corner shop and feel that I am owed free confectionary for life from Mars.

I believe a super sized Mars Bar may be released soon and therefore I am justified in stealing that which is currently on offer.


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SubjectViewsWritten ByPosted
I stole a Mars Bar today!260 Mister Pomp 01/18/2001 06:08PM
RE: I stole a Mars Bar today! 183 Mats 01/18/2001 09:55PM
RE: I stole a Mars Bar today! 179 Eric Abrahamsen 01/18/2001 10:14PM
RE: I stole a Mars Bar today! 154 the dok 01/18/2001 10:24PM
RE: I stole a Mars Bar today! 171 koogles 01/18/2001 11:19PM
I stole some smack from a local drug dealer ... 206 Copious K9 01/19/2001 01:59AM
RE: I stole a Mars Bar today! 149 coco 01/19/2001 04:55AM
RE: The Truth Hurts 160 Eric Abrahamsen 01/19/2001 08:30AM
RE: The Truth Hurts 174 mike 01/19/2001 12:57PM
RE: The Truth Hurts 172 Eric Abrahamsen 01/19/2001 01:13PM
Ooops! 180 Eric Abrahamsen 01/19/2001 01:21PM
RE: Ooops! 181 mike 01/19/2001 03:47PM
RE: I stole a Mars Bar today!.. This was gay!! 180 mike 01/19/2001 05:06AM
RE: Out of the Closet? 194 Eric Abrahamsen 01/19/2001 01:44PM
RE: Out of the Closet? 166 mike 01/19/2001 03:49PM
RE: I stole a Mars Bar today!.. This was gay!! 197 Mister Pomp 01/19/2001 05:57PM
RE: I stole a Mars Bar today! 165 Davy(N.I.) 01/19/2001 05:39AM
RE: Mr...Pomp , WISE UP once and for ALL !! 170 Melodic Lover ( SPAIN) 01/19/2001 07:57AM
It's a big metaphor, folks! 172 koogles 01/19/2001 08:29AM
Mr Pomp Dont be so blind 137Kelly01/19/2001 08:40AM
RE: Mr Pomp Dont be so blind 156 Eric Abrahamsen 01/19/2001 08:48AM
RE: Mr Pomp Dont be so blind 177 mike 01/19/2001 12:47PM
RE: To Mike.... 137 Eric Abrahamsen 01/19/2001 01:04PM
RE: To Mike.... 208 mike 01/19/2001 03:58PM
RE: Mr Pomp Dont be so blind 164 Mister Pomp 01/19/2001 06:02PM
Oh and by the way... 159 Mister Pomp 01/19/2001 06:05PM
RE: I stole a Mars Bar today! 160Preacherman01/19/2001 09:28AM
Who are you? 192 Mister Pomp 01/19/2001 05:44PM
cant we all just get along now :) 159 mike 01/19/2001 06:13PM
of course... 154 Mister Pomp 01/19/2001 10:57PM
RE: of course... 198 coco 01/20/2001 05:24AM

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